HELP! I’m jealous and angry- but with reason?

I have another issue and I didn’t even post about the last issue I had.  It’s like my life has become a never-ending procession of things to feel bad about.

Hormones

This week I’ve been stupidly weepy.  I’ve been chalking it up to PMS and poor reading choices – particularly “Confessions of the Other Mother: Nonbiological Lesbian Moms Tell All!” and “My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy.”  Neither of them left me feeling particularly enthusiastic about motherhood, a subject I already feel poorly about. I spent hours suffering from insomnia (a rare malady in my life, trust me) and crying, then being sleepy and crying followed by crying on the train, crying in my husband’s home office and crying in my lovely ladies arms. I didn’t have any particular reason for crying other than out of control hormones, but at least I knew I was being an idiot  .

Just when my period arrives and my tears dry up on their own accord, life gives me something to actually cry about. Although, I may be a little premature in dismissing my hormones, since I cried at World Gay Pride after hearing that an old man was crying because he was so happy that something like Pride could happen nowadays. Continue reading

Fighting, Round I.

Relationships are hard.  That’s why I thought I’d take two of thm on at the same time.  Glutton for punishment, I guess.

My current issue?

Being supportive of my husband’s efforts to find another woman.

My husband has, thus far, been unlucky in his pursuit of another woman for companionship or sex.  It’s a hard world out there for men, and especially for a man who works from home and it is hard to meet potential honeys when you don’t know a lot of people. Triply hard if that man is married and NOT looking to cheat.  A lot of women are put off by a man who loves his wife and wants to be honest with her about having extramarital relationships (and yet completely willing to hop in bed with a man who wants to be dishonest about it, go figure). Continue reading

Living Two Lives: Married to a Man & In Love with a Woman

A few days ago I was in the library, pawing around the Social/Social Science section, looking for books about prostitutes (hey, we’ve all got our vices) when I came across Living Two Lives: Married to a Man & In Love with a Woman by Joanne Fleisher.  It was the 6th book I picked up that day – I already had 2 checked out, bringing me to my 8 item limit.  It was, of course, the first book I opened when I got home. I finished it in two days.

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A little update after a long absence

So, as you can see I haven’t been very active updating this blog.  I have had lots to say and not so much time to write.  Or ability to write.  Or maybe desire. It’s a little daunting writing about your personal life so openly, especially when you are trying to make your personal life WORK.

Here is the short run down: Continue reading

The Choice to Live with Multiple Partners – Not without a ring, my friend

My girlfriend and I live very far apart.  It takes about an hour and a half by train and a little longer by bike, so it is difficult for us to see each other as often as we’d like. My husband and I are considering moving for several reasons – including the unfortunately high cost of our tiny flat in our overpriced, boring neighborhood. I’d like to take the opportunity to move us closer to my girlfriend.  Of course, this has brought up many interesting discussions on potential living situations.  How close should we live to my girlfriend?  A nearer neighborhood?  The same neighborhood?  A flat next door?  The same flat? What option should we choose now?  And what options should we consider in the future?

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The Best Poly Advice I’ve Heard (And That I Know I Won’t Follow)

Lately I’ve been dating a woman in my open marriage. So far I’m very excited (too excited) about the situation.  I’m also completely and totally wracked with nerves. In general I’m fairly cool about the people I date so I wasn’t expecting any of the anxiety I’ve been experiencing for the past few weeks. I know I can attribute a fair amount of my panic to the fact that I’ve never dated a woman before, but there is a far larger cause to my stress over the situation: I like her very much and she isn’t polyamorous.

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What do you do when your wife wants an open relationship?

Contrary to common opinion, it isn’t always the husband that wants an open marriage. The realization that your partner wants to change from a monogamous relationship to an open one can be difficult no matter what sex they are.  Whether the wife or husband wants to open the relationship makes little difference. So what do you do when your partner wants an open relationship? What do you do when you don’t?

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Rules for Your Open Relationship – and 1 Rule to Avoid!

Every open relationship needs a set of guidelines.  These could be rules that you’ll both abide by for the remainder of your relationship or they could be flexible guiding principles.  Relationship guidelines are just another strategy we can use to keep jealousy at bay and keep our partners needs in mind.

 

What principles should an open relationship have? 

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What’s My Open Relationship Like?

There are lots of types of open relationships out there.  Some folks like to have sex with other people, but only at the same time.  Some are only okay with their partners being open to the same gender.  Some are okay with polyamory while others are only open to strictly sexual relationships. Some are only half-open. There are many ways to have an open relationship, but rather than delve into that can of worms today, I’m going to tell you about my open relationship.

 

The Theoretical Setup

In theory my husband and I are open to partners of any gender and potentially any sexual orientation except gay. We are open to both sexual and romantic partners, as long as we remain each other’s top priority. Ideally, a lot of us would be great friends and enjoy hanging out with any of the other partners.

 

I tried to make a chart to explain theory:

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