Relationships are hard. That’s why I thought I’d take two of thm on at the same time. Glutton for punishment, I guess.
My current issue?
Being supportive of my husband’s efforts to find another woman.
My husband has, thus far, been unlucky in his pursuit of another woman for companionship or sex. It’s a hard world out there for men, and especially for a man who works from home and it is hard to meet potential honeys when you don’t know a lot of people. Triply hard if that man is married and NOT looking to cheat. A lot of women are put off by a man who loves his wife and wants to be honest with her about having extramarital relationships (and yet completely willing to hop in bed with a man who wants to be dishonest about it, go figure). Continue reading →
A few days ago I was in the library, pawing around the Social/Social Science section, looking for books about prostitutes (hey, we’ve all got our vices) when I came across Living Two Lives: Married to a Man & In Love with a Woman by Joanne Fleisher. It was the 6th book I picked up that day – I already had 2 checked out, bringing me to my 8 item limit. It was, of course, the first book I opened when I got home. I finished it in two days.
So, as you can see I haven’t been very active updating this blog. I have had lots to say and not so much time to write. Or ability to write. Or maybe desire. It’s a little daunting writing about your personal life so openly, especially when you are trying to make your personal life WORK.
My girlfriend and I live very far apart. It takes about an hour and a half by train and a little longer by bike, so it is difficult for us to see each other as often as we’d like. My husband and I are considering moving for several reasons – including the unfortunately high cost of our tiny flat in our overpriced, boring neighborhood. I’d like to take the opportunity to move us closer to my girlfriend. Of course, this has brought up many interesting discussions on potential living situations. How close should we live to my girlfriend? A nearer neighborhood? The same neighborhood? A flat next door? The same flat? What option should we choose now? And what options should we consider in the future?
I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, but I’ve had difficulty finding time to write about it because I’ve been shuttling back and forth between my house and my girlfriend’s house. It’s lovely that we live all the way across London from each other. Advice for anyone starting a polyamorous open marriage: if you are going to see another partner frequently, keep the commute time down! It takes me an hour and 45 minutes to get to her place. It is completely worth it, but it is killing me!
So I said I made this website to give advice from another perspective. How silly of me. How completely silly. I have no advice to give, I’m completely lost myself.
Having an open marriage was relatively easy. There were some fights and little jealousies and the like, but it was rather simple. There was a lot of sex and a little friendship and things just went on like normal (mostly).
Lately I’ve been dating a woman in my open marriage. So far I’m very excited (too excited) about the situation. I’m also completely and totally wracked with nerves. In general I’m fairly cool about the people I date so I wasn’t expecting any of the anxiety I’ve been experiencing for the past few weeks. I know I can attribute a fair amount of my panic to the fact that I’ve never dated a woman before, but there is a far larger cause to my stress over the situation: I like her very much and she isn’t polyamorous.
Contrary to common opinion, it isn’t always the husband that wants an open marriage. The realization that your partner wants to change from a monogamous relationship to an open one can be difficult no matter what sex they are. Whether the wife or husband wants to open the relationship makes little difference. So what do you do when your partner wants an open relationship? What do you do when you don’t?