My girlfriend and I live very far apart. It takes about an hour and a half by train and a little longer by bike, so it is difficult for us to see each other as often as we’d like. My husband and I are considering moving for several reasons – including the unfortunately high cost of our tiny flat in our overpriced, boring neighborhood. I’d like to take the opportunity to move us closer to my girlfriend. Of course, this has brought up many interesting discussions on potential living situations. How close should we live to my girlfriend? A nearer neighborhood? The same neighborhood? A flat next door? The same flat? What option should we choose now? And what options should we consider in the future?
Every open relationship needs a set of guidelines. These could be rules that you’ll both abide by for the remainder of your relationship or they could be flexible guiding principles. Relationship guidelines are just another strategy we can use to keep jealousy at bay and keep our partners needs in mind.
What principles should an open relationship have?
There are lots of types of open relationships out there. Some folks like to have sex with other people, but only at the same time. Some are only okay with their partners being open to the same gender. Some are okay with polyamory while others are only open to strictly sexual relationships. Some are only half-open. There are many ways to have an open relationship, but rather than delve into that can of worms today, I’m going to tell you about my open relationship.
The Theoretical Setup
In theory my husband and I are open to partners of any gender and potentially any sexual orientation except gay. We are open to both sexual and romantic partners, as long as we remain each other’s top priority. Ideally, a lot of us would be great friends and enjoy hanging out with any of the other partners.
I tried to make a chart to explain theory: