The Best Poly Advice I’ve Heard (And That I Know I Won’t Follow)

Lately I’ve been dating a woman in my open marriage. So far I’m very excited (too excited) about the situation.  I’m also completely and totally wracked with nerves. In general I’m fairly cool about the people I date so I wasn’t expecting any of the anxiety I’ve been experiencing for the past few weeks. I know I can attribute a fair amount of my panic to the fact that I’ve never dated a woman before, but there is a far larger cause to my stress over the situation: I like her very much and she isn’t polyamorous.

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What’s My Open Relationship Like?

There are lots of types of open relationships out there.  Some folks like to have sex with other people, but only at the same time.  Some are only okay with their partners being open to the same gender.  Some are okay with polyamory while others are only open to strictly sexual relationships. Some are only half-open. There are many ways to have an open relationship, but rather than delve into that can of worms today, I’m going to tell you about my open relationship.

 

The Theoretical Setup

In theory my husband and I are open to partners of any gender and potentially any sexual orientation except gay. We are open to both sexual and romantic partners, as long as we remain each other’s top priority. Ideally, a lot of us would be great friends and enjoy hanging out with any of the other partners.

 

I tried to make a chart to explain theory:

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